Secure

Individuals who have secure attachment styles had caregivers who were supportive and consistently responsive to their needs during childhood. These caregivers provided stability, emotional support, physical connection, communication, and predictability, which allowed the child to grow up feeling safe and loved. As adults, secure individuals feel comfortable being vulnerable and can express and regulate their emotions. They can give and receive support and are less likely to be triggered than their insecure counterparts.  However, individuals with secure attachment styles may exhibit a secondary attachment style, which is not necessarily a result of inconsistent caregiving patterns.

As a secure individual, you'll do well with others who are strong communicators or are actively working on themselves. You generally have the skills to create healthy and fulfilling relationships. Still, you can also have a secondary attachment style that will show up when you are triggered. Since attachment styles are on a spectrum, you may have a certain percentage of another attachment style that may show up during conflict. If you are 80 percent secure, you may also be 20 percent anxious preoccupied. This might cause you to feel anxious if your partner withdraws. Without addressing the secondary style, you may continue to end up in unsatisfying relationships or face more potential challenges with your partner. 

For you to achieve a successful relationship, a few things you will want to work on are:

• Learning what your secondary attachment style and needs are.
• Breaking through negative thinking and beliefs.
• Understanding the other insecure types and how to communicate with them effectively.
• Becoming aware of your relationship triggers.